As we settle back into the house after our Florida trip, things feel different. We are deeply missing our little boy. All the little spots in the house that he used to inhabit feel empty. It’s quiet and much more calm in the house, without him running around playing. We find ourselves desiring the daily ritual of feeding him or hearing his little meows at the door to take him outside. Even when I started the vacuum today, I wanted to call out and tell him, ‘Loud noise coming, buddy”. Things feel so different. Yet we are reminded by the following poem that our friend Scarlett sent to us, that he is still by our side.
I’m Still Here - Author Unknown
Looking down on Earth
I see you go about your day.
You’re putting on your armor
wiping last night’s tears away.
I wonder if you feel me
watching over you as you sleep.
Your body curled up, weary
I feel your grief runs deep.
Please know I am always with you
I’m still here, I didn’t leave.
I’m the wind that blows the feathers,
the light tugging on your sleeve.
I send you signs from time to time,
to remind you I am near by.
The feathers and the rainbows
are our bridge from ground to sky.
So next time you feel sorrow
creeping up into your eyes,
go stand outside and blow a kiss
and send it to the skies.
Believe that I will feel it,
landing lightly on my cheek.
And trust that I am here
drying the tears you weep.
I blow kisses too, you know
each morning and each night.
I walk beside you every day,
I’m still here, just out of sight.
Since Mágico’s transition, we feel him and experience him differently. We have seen rainbows daily. We are reminded of him everywhere we go. When we went to see Phish the night we put him down, it seemed everyone we were standing by had an orange tabby on their clothing or a cat of some sort. As we go about our day, we all hear little meows from time to time. As we close our eyes for meditation or sleep, each of us has felt him arrive to comfort us. We are consistently in dialogue with him as we embark on our various tasks and daily adventures, and he seems to always be right there to support.
We never really knew rainbows were something people associated with the transition of an animal, but many people have shared this during this process. We were even given a really sweet ‘Rainbow Bridge’ poem from the vet who supported us with Mágico’s transition. It makes sense to us and we love thinking about him coming through as a rainbow, because that’s who he is, pure light. When we moved in to our home in Boulder, we got big faceted crystal balls for our windows that shoot rainbows all of the house when the sun hits them. He loved them and the same is true for the mini disco balls hanging in our window. Now that he has died, these little rainbow spots and rays of lights hold an even more powerful meaning.
The photo below was taken the day after his ceremony. It really felt like he was saying, “hello” from the rainbow bridge. We have NO idea how that rainbow and shadow showed up in our kitchen the morning after Mágico died, but the mystery rings powerfully. We deeply know, he is still here.
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